People that know me are often surprised to hear that I suffered a profound episode of depression that lasted over the course of several years. Although it occurred over 25 years ago, there were several pivotal turning points I experienced as I righted my ship toward recovery.
One such occurrence happened by surprise. Carol and I purchased some vacation property, perhaps attempting to provide some solace and refuge in my tumultuous life. At the time, we were living in a condo. While we enjoyed that carefree lifestyle, I still longed to get my hands in some dirt. One of the things I most looked forward to in purchasing this property was to own some dirt so I could grow some flowers.
One result of my depression was losing my job, which occurred shortly after purchasing the property. As a result, money was tight. Not to be deterred, I resigned myself to planting flower seeds instead of purchasing our customary flower flats. One of the flower seeds I chose was celosias. The package stated the flowers would grow 12” – 18” in height so I thought stems of these showy blooms would be a nice addition to a vase.
I toiled for many hours to prepare a virgin planting bed that would hopefully become a showplace of blooms in the coming weeks. I can still recall the sinking feeling I had when I opened the package of seeds and dumped them into my hand. The seeds were smaller than poppy seeds! “How in the world would these seeds grow into anything worthwhile?” I thought. Nonetheless, I lovingly placed the seeds in the ground thinking, “Please God. I need some beautiful flowers in my life right now.”
Each Friday we would arrive at our property only to find weak little seedlings struggling for survival. I would think, “Please God. I need some flowers!” After some weeks, these tiny seeds took hold and started growing strong and sturdy. By August we had a towering forest of celosias that were chest height and exploding with color and beauty. I was stunned!
Even all these years later, I am feeling my breath being taken away as I recall this sight. The story doesn’t end there though. For many years, these same celosias re-seeded themselves and grew proudly. We had so many re-seeded plants in the following years, we had enough to share. The blessing continued for many years.
The lesson I learned is that God surprises us many times over our expectations if we just have faith and trust Him. Of course, the Bible verse that comes to mind is Matthew 17:20. He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly I tell you, if you have the faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.”
Prayer: Loving God, In those times in my life when we need you the most, it sometimes seems like you are the farthest away. In those times, and all times, help me to remember that you are just a prayer away. You already know what I need, and you will provide if I just trust and have faith in You. In your gracious name I pray. Amen.
Steve Spieker
Joyful Worship Wing Co-Leader
